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Demetri Martin
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Sames and Opposites
In life there are many things Some of them are the same and some are opposites About some of these things I do sing A cactus is the opposite of a chair In my house you can sit anywhere but there especially if your ass is bare A bird house is not the same as a bird home one is much more comfortable for birds These are sames and opposites my friends which I determined A musical is the same as a burlap sack I would not want to be in either A squirrel is the same as a can when there's a BB gun in my hand Can't you see that I am just a man? With distinctions and comparisons Spare change is the same as wedgies for me I don't give it unless someone's really asking
Unless you're at a funeral Find more lyrics at ※ Mojim.com To live is the same as to dream If you do both long enough you'll see But you have to work in between Unless you have narcolepsy (That was a boring solo) Earrings are the same as sneezes Two is okay but ten in a row is annoying If you have two then God bless you These are sames and opposites my friends which I have determined A secret admirer is the same as a stalker With stationery An ex-girlfriend is the same as an okay movie I liked it at the time but I don't want to see it again Especially if the movie was kind of a bitch These are sames and opposites my friends which I have determined So far
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