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David Shrigley
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What I Ate
On Monday morning, I got up at 8 am. For my breakfast, I had 500 hard boiled eggs and a cup of tea. For lunch, I had an old car tire and a bucket of frogs and a carton of ribena. For dinner, I had a jar of anti-ageing cream and two meters of electric flex.
On Tuesday I got up at 8 am. For my breakfast, I had a plastic ruler and next door's dog. For lunch, I had 53 pounds of Guinness and then I went home early and went to bed.
On Wednesday I got up at 3 pm. For breakfast I had bacon and eggs, two cups of tea and some holiday brochures. I didn't have any lunch, because it was too late. For dinner, I ate my briefcase and all of my wife's clothing.
On Thursday I got up at 8 am. For breakfast, I had a bottle of washing up liquid and a car stereo. For lunch, I had the plumbing from and on-suite bathroom and two cups of tea. Find more lyrics at ※ Mojim.com For dinner, I ate some important documents, a ski jacket, a staple gun, a pair of shoes, a packet of biscuits and some ice-cream.
On Friday I got up early, because I had a doctor's appointment, so I didn't have time for breakfast. For lunch, I had a Cornish pasty and a cup of tea. For dinner, I ate all of the plants in our garden
and a concrete paving slammer. On saturday I got up at 8 am. I have to work on Saturdays. For breakfast, I had a bottle of muesli, but I barfed it up on my trousers. For lunch I ate the trousers that I have barfed up on and then I went to the barber's and got shaved bold and I ate all my hair on the way back to the office.
For dinner, I ate an electrik drill and some coleslaw. On Sunday I got up at 9 am. I went to church without having any breakfast. For lunch, I ate a large grave stone and some grass. In the evening, I went out for dinner with my wife and I had scampi and she had lasagna.
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